Three Opossums were playing horseshoes and drinking mojitos on a hazy summer evening. 

“Why does the grass look greener over there?” Wondered Ramsey, as he pointed just over the fence to the other side of the yard they were in. 

“Does it look greener? Seems the same to me,” Offered Dillon as he began to line up his next horseshoe throw. 

“Fellas, there is a saying about this exact thing!” Teerlin, the third opossum replied, “We don’t have to go through this whole discussion—“

CLANK, KUH-CLANK, CLANK

The sound of Dillon throwing his horseshoe interrupted Teerlin’s thought. It was a wonderful throw. Straight. Pure. True. It wrapped around its target and came to rest. 

High fives were handed out all around. Dillion took a bow. Of the three friends, none had been more successful in tossing the horseshoe. The three were absolutely ecstatic. Like they had won a championship. 

“We need champagne!” Ramsey yelled.

“I could go for some champagne!” Dillion added

“Well, we already have mojitos and I’m not sure if the champagne is cold or not—“ Teerlin replied. 

To which Ramsey and Dillon started chanting:

“Champagne! Champagne! Champagne!”

“Champagne would be so much better than mojitos, Teerlin!” Ramsey pleaded. 

“Yeah, Teerlin! Mojitos have more mint and fewer bubbles than champagne and everyone knows bubbles are inherently more celebratory than mint.” Dillon added. 

“Fine, I can go get the champagne but, I think we’re all going to be disappointed.” Teerlin acquiesced and went inside to retrieve the champagne. 

“Glad she came around,” Ramsey said. 

“Me too.” Dillon concurred.

“Hey by the way, back to what I was saying earlier, why does the grass look so much greener over there?” Ramsey asked 

“I don’t know? But you’re right, the grass does look way greener over there. We should go there. What are we doing in inferior grass?” Dillion agreed. 

Ramsey and Dillion got up and made their way over to the greener grass. Meanwhile, Teerlin had returned with the champagne. It was, as she suspected, kind of warm. 

“Guys I’m telling you this champagne is too warm to…” Teerlin paused as she saw the guys were no longer where they had previously been. She yelled to them, annoyed, “Where the hell do you two think you’re going!”

“Come over here! The grass is greener!” Ramsey yelled.

“Yeah, it’s awesome!” Dillion added. 

Teerlin was frustrated. How could those two idiots not know the saying about where the grass is greener and what that means? Seems ridiculous. I mean really, grown opossums behaving like idiots? What has the world come to? 

Then, she thought of an idea:

“What does the grass look like over here now?” She called out to the two idiots. 

The idiots paused and got a good long look at the grass. 

“Pretty green!” Ramsey yelled back. 

“Yeah gotta admit, it’s pretty dang green over there!” Dillion added. 

“And is there any champagne over there?” Teerlin yelled again. 

“No!”

“Yeah, none that I can see!”

“So come back over here you genius!”

Ramsey and Daniel could not argue with the logic at all. Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned here. Maybe the two would learn the lessons today or maybe years down the line. But, in any case, they made their way back to Teerlin. The three joyfully popped the champagne to celebrate Daniel’s beautiful throw. It was a wonderful moment. 

“Man, this is great,” Daniel said, beaming. “I just wish the champagne was cold.”

Teerlin rolled her eyes. “I hate to say, ‘I hate to say I told you so.’ But I did tell you so, and quite frankly I don’t actually hate saying ‘I told you so’ so...”

The three possums then sat together, sipped on their warm champagne, enjoyed the hazy summer evening, all as their mojitos got even warmer.