The Hare and The Tortoise were getting ready for their big annual race. Tickets had been sold, betting lines had been set and the stakes couldn’t be higher. You see, this was the very first year where the…

Well, before we get to far into this you should know ever since that very first race between the Tortoise and the Hare, you know, the famous one where the Tortoise miraculously managed to beat all the odds and cross the finish line before the heavily favored Hare, the Tortoise has then gone on to consistently beat the Hare in this very race, year after year after year. It's unbelievable, but it happens every single time:

One year the Hare lost because he stopped to chat up a rabbit in the middle of the race and the Tortoise was able to sneak by for a victory.

One year, there was a big chili cook-off the night before where the Hare overindulged himself and then really struggled to move at all the next day.

One year, the hare lost because he DQ'd himself by false-starting 3-times-in-a-row. Then the next year, hoping not to make the same mistake again, the hare lost because, out of an abundance of caution, he waited till well after the starter’s pistol to take off and in so doing completely forgot to run the race at all.

And one year the Hare simply ran in the wrong direction, thinking if he went around the world he could still get to the finish line faster than the Tortoise, but that didn't work either. The Hare later admitted it was one of his dumber ideas.

And so it went, year after year after year after year. Despite all the odds, the Tortoise managed to beat the Hare.

The Hare had the worst case of the yips the forest had ever seen.

So now back to the present and why this years stakes couldn’t be higher-- This was the very first year where the powers that be officially acknowledged that the Hare, despite its clear physical advantages, did not have what it took to ever beat the Tortoise in a race ever again. This was the first year where the betting lines had shifted and the Tortoise was now favored to win.

The Hare was sad when he heard this news. Ever since that very first loss to the Tortoise, the Hare had actually tried very hard to beat the Tortoise but never could. No matter what the Hare did, he just couldn’t seem to get over the hump.

The Tortoise, on the other hand, was now known far and wide for his slow and steady approach to racing. He was written up in magazines, interviewed on late-night television, and even got his face on boxes of cereal. The day the Tortoise officially became the favorite to win the race he received numerous endorsement deals and was showered with wealth and gold.

With all this going on, as the race day approached, the Hare told himself that this year he was just going to run his race, his way. No distractions and no getting carried away by all the hype surrounding the Tortoise. The Hare just decided he was going to run a regular race. He wasn't even worried about winning. He just wanted to show people what he could do.

The two rivals showed up at the starting line. The Tortoise lined up a little slower than usual. Even for him. The Hare looked over to see what was up and noticed a big thick gold chain hanging around the Tortoise’s neck.

"What's up with the big chain?" The Hare asked.

"My sponsors want a picture of me wearing the chain when I cross the finish line to beat you today,” the Tortoise answered, smug.

Now the Hare knew he was going to win. The Tortoise had never talked smack before a race. The Tortoise was always humble. Slow and steady was his whole thing, it's how he managed to win. But now, he was cocky, and the Hare was more determined than ever.

The starter’s pistol sounded.

The Hare took off. He had eaten well, gotten a good night's sleep, and said he wouldn't stop till he finished before the Tortoise.

And he did. In a flash actually. It didn’t take long at all. The race was over, basically as soon as it started. The Hare had won. Everyone was shocked at how quickly the race was over. But they really shouldn’t have been, a Hare is much faster than a Tortoise. I mean it was embarrassing. The Hare had absolutely smoked the Tortoise. The Hare had finished before the Tortoise even took a full step.

Then the cheers erupted. Everyone loves an underdog story. The Hare had done it. He overcame his yips. He won. He beat the odds. The crowd rushed to lift the hare on their shoulders and carry him away to victory. The Tortoise, who in his cockiness forgot that he was actually very slow, was left behind at the starting line, all alone.