Local Turtle Cautions Against Speeding Things Up
Maurice, a local turtle, has been around for a very long time. He’s seen things come, he’s seen things go, and he’s seen some things stay the same. Through it all, the one thing he knew for certain, deep within his heart, is that trouble always comes when things speed up.
"It seems like every year the whole town gets together and decides it wants to speed things up. When really, we need the opposite!"
Maurice is a permanent fixture at city council meetings and has been for his entire life. Each week he shows up with his large sign emblazoned with the words “What’s The Rush?” in simple black Sharpie and he makes sure to speak during the public comment portion of the meeting.
“It just seems like everyone wants things to go quick, quick, quick, all the time. But I disagree.” Maurice continued. “And I should stand up for what I disagree with! It’s my right!”
Maurice's slow-things-down ethos is not tied to any specific issue or platform. For him, everything in the world and in society has been slowly but surely speeding up for a very long time, right under our noses, often without us even knowing, and it’s time to put a stop to that.
“It’s like the great William Shakespeare said, ‘Stop and smell the roses...'" Maurice started, slowly, "Now, let's say someone told you instead to 'Hurry up and smell the roses?' You don't like that. In fact, you’d walk right up to those roses and take your time smelling them just out of spite!” He continued, steadily. “But if someone doesn’t challenge you to hurry up or stop and smell, you’d blow right by the roses, wouldn’t you?”
City council members come and go as elected officials tend to do, and Maurice has had a third-row seat to all of it. When asked about his presence at meetings no one had a bad word to say about him. But it seems that all city councilors have had a hard time understanding the slow-things-down ethos as it relates to local politics.
“We mostly talk about trash pick-ups and school budgets. There’s not a whole lot to do with speed, it’s mostly about money and resource allocation." Said Sandy Dunkmen, city council president, "But he’s passionate. It’s nice to see some passion, and passion in local politics, even if it is um... He’s a nice guy.”
"It's every year it seems! The kids come out and they want everything to be fast, faster, faster! Add more speed! Add more zip! Add more G’s!" Maurice continued, “I'll tell you what, I didn’t get to where I am today by going quickly. So...”
Maurice seems like he’s going to finish his sentence and before rushing in with a word or phrase to help speed up the completion of the sentence for him, this reporter thought better of the idea.
One thing is for certain, Maurice will continue to be a fighter for the slow, the slower, and the slowest among us. He has no plans to quiet down in his fight:
“If you go too fast, one thing that could happen is you could fall off...”
When asked to elaborate Maurice, ever inscrutable, took his time to think about his answer and finally, said nothing.
Editor’s Note: William Shakespeare did not invent the phrase “Stop and smell the roses,” the quote is attributed to golfer Walter Hagen
