The Sloth Wants 10 Million Dollars
The Sloth knew, she just knew, that there was no way she would win the 10 Million Dollar Promotion that her favorite brand of peanut butter was running.
She stood in front of the large grocery store display for the promotion for a long time. Because she knew, and she knew that she knew, that she would never win the 10 Million Dollars, not in a million years! No one ever wins!
But still, the display was quite attractive and made a very valid point to the Sloth that caused her to reconsider her position a little more — You could win 10 Million Dollars!
And could has a sneaky way of making you question what it is you think you know.
“Could be me,” the Sloth thought to herself. “Could be someone else too, but I’d prefer if that someone was me.”
The Sloth stared at the display for a little while longer. Knowing everything that she knew but also coulding everything she knew.
She knew, obviously, that people don't actually win during these giveaways. These companies just say they are giving away 10 Million Dollars so that people will buy the peanut butter to enter the contest. The company sold peanut butter. Selling peanut butter was its favorite thing to do. The Sloth was sure they didn’t care about the promotion as much as the peanut butter.
Plus, the only reason to even run a promotion is to boost sales, so if the peanut butter company needed to boost sales in the first place where were they even getting this extra 10 Million Dollars to just give away to someone?
Furthermore, the Sloth also knew from watching a documentary series, that the winner of at least one prominent big money giveaway such as this was fixed every year. Rigged. Rigged so that someone within a small group was predetermined for the entire history of the award resulting in no legitimate winners ever claiming the prize money offered.
Yet... Could... Could this contest be different? Could this be her chance? Maybe? Could be, why not?
The Sloth hated this. When she woke up today all she wanted was to get peanut butter from the grocery store. She could have done that, just that, and been totally fine. Content, even. But now, there’s this whole giveaway, and now there’s a 10 million dollars that could exist.
To enter the contest was very simple. All the Sloth had to do was buy the peanut butter, open the jar, and mail a self-addressed stamped envelope with her code into the company. If she’s a winner they would let her know.
“That’s so easy,” thought the Sloth. “Even if this giveaway is a scam, if it requires minimal effort to enter why not just go ahead and enter? You’ve got nothing to lose. You were going to get peanut butter anyway...”
“Good point Sloth,” the Sloth thought to herself.
Of course, the Sloth knew what she had to lose by entering the contest. She would lose some self-respect. How could she be suckered in by such a simple promotion? Especially, ESPECIALLY, when she knew the whole thing was a scam? Why does the Sloth still even feel like she could win?
The Sloth had a friend, an Old Turtle, who played the lottery every day and never won. Once the Sloth asked her friend why he played the lottery every day despite never winning. The turtle said that he never expects to win the lottery — For 23 hours 59 minutes and 33 seconds of the day. But, right before you go to check the days winning numbers you still get that same jolt of adrenaline and excitement and anticipation that maybe, just maybe this was it. Some days, the Old Turtle told the Sloth, that little minuscule jolt of excitement is as good as it gets.
“But you know, for certain that you will not win this,” the Sloth tried to convince herself one last time, “They don’t even announce the winner...”
But they also never tell you that you didn't win. So if they don't tell you that you didn't win and they don't tell you who did win, for all you know the prize hasn’t even been claimed. It may not have even been announced! Which means you could always still have a chance.
A slight. Very slight. Minuscule, almost unmeasurable... Could.
So, why not?
The Sloth left the display case behind and went to pick up the rest of her groceries. As she was leaving she also picked up a packet of envelopes, an item that wasn’t even on her list. She picked this particular packet of envelopes very carefully because on the box in big bold letters it said:
“Perfect Envelopes For Self Addressing And Stamping!”
