What's It To The Universe?

Three Birds were waiting to look into a telescope. The telescope belonged to Samuel so Samuel got to decide where they pointed the telescope and what they looked at.

“I just want you to know I resent this setup,” said Lena, escalating the situation very quickly, “Why can’t we all decide together what to look at?”

Samuel hated that this exact scenario came up every time he invited Lena and their other friend Dondald out to an empty field to look at his telescope. Without fail, Samuel would assert his rights, as the owner of the telescope, to choose what object it should be pointed at. This all seemed so very simple, so very basic, so very cut and dry to Samuel. Yet, here we were.

“We can’t decide together because I own the telescope,” Samuel explained, “I invested the capital and therefore I choose how I’d like to use it.”

“Oh you always go there Samuel, it’s getting old,” Lena responded, “Your entire value system rests on the tenets of capitalism holding under all circumstances.”

“What’s wrong with that assumption? Haven’t seen nothing to disprove the theory.” Samuel shot back.

“Well everyone knows capitalism crumbles quickly when basic living becomes overly commodified and capitalized, first of all,” Lena offered in retort, “And second of all, it’s lame to base all your observations on one school of economic thought.”

Dondald never liked to get in the middle of these arguments. He always thought they were silly. Two birds arguing about trivial things in front of infinity? Dumb.

“I’m not into this poly school of thought lifestyle you’re pushing,” countered Samuel.

Isn’t it dumb though? Dondald thought. Of course, it is. Super dumb, honestly. And if we’re really getting to the core of it, it’s super-duper-ooper-looper dumb. 100 percent dumb. But hey, just because something seems dumb to you and the cosmos doesn’t mean any average bird would feel the same.

“At best,” Lena started, “The telescope is a shared resource because if Dondald and I…”

“Oh shit,” thought Dondald, “I heard my name. That sucks they always ask my opinion a few minutes after I hear my name.”

“Dondald, don’t you agree?” Lena asked.

“Yeah, Dondald you tell us who you agree with?”

This suckssss, Dondald thought again. Why do I have to care either way?

Dondald never really had strong opinions about anything. He was a pretty simple bird. Eat. Fly. Crap. Repeat. Dondald wished he were the type of bird who could contribute to the types of conversations Samuel and Lena liked to have. But he wasn’t, and that’s okay.

“Hey guys, I don’t care” “settle it for yourself.

“Thanks for the help Dondald!” Lena snarked.

“Yeah real helpful Dondald, sike!” Said Samuel sarcastically.

Dondald didn’t mind the insults. It gave the two of them enough momentary camaraderie to make sure their argument doesn’t turn their friendship sour. Meanwhile, Dondald has a chance to look through the telescope, deep into an unknown universe, and wonder, in peace.