Garlic Shortage

“In the event of a garlic shortage,” Misha, a Bear, read out loud, “Kindly refrain from asking for garlic bread with your spaghetti, it upsets the chef.”

“Well that’s an odd thing to put on a menu,” Theodora, the Owl, reacted.

Misha and Theodora were set to dine in their favorite Italian restaurant and had only just noticed this warning on the menu. The warning was in teeny-tiny print all the way at the bottom of the menu, something that you’d never be able to see with just your naked eye. In fact, the only reason the two friends had seen the warning at all was because Misha was showing off her new magnifying glass that she had just got today.

“Is there a garlic shortage right now?” Misha asked, concerned, “I feel like that’s something I would have heard about, right?”

“Maybe there is, but I haven’t heard about it either,” Theodora replied.

Well that settles it, there was simply no way for there to be a garlic shortage with neither of the two friends hearing about it. Misha and Theodora loved garlic and part of the reason they loved coming to this particular restaurant was because the chef here had a heavy hand with the garlic.

“Could you even imagine what a garlic shortage would be like?” Misha asked.

“Terrifying, that’s for sure,” Theodora shuddered, ”Please don’t make me think about it.”

The two couldn’t help but wonder what the garlic warning could possibly be referring to. There had never been any major garlic famines in world history that the two had learned about, nor were there any known garlic-borne diseases that might lead to recall. So where does the idea of a garlic shortage even come from?

The server finally arrived at Misha and Theodora’s table.

“Well, hello, would you two like to hear our specials for tonight or can I get some drinks, perhaps some cocktails started for you?”

Misha and Theodora looked at each other nervous, sheepish.

“Well… yes,” Misha started, “But first we have a question.”

“Sure what can I answer for you?” The server replied, cheerful.

“Is there… is there currently a…” Misha hesitated, “I don’t know why I’m so nervous… Is there currently a garlic shortage?”

The server quickly dropped her cheerful demeanor and became very cold.

“The garlic shortage.” She said, stern, severe, “May I see your magnifying glass?”

Misha and Theodora had no clue what was going on. How did the server know that they had a magnifying glass? Sure the print was small but maybe people just had good eyesight, it wasn’t necessary that a magnifying glass…

“Now!” The server said firmly.

Misha, startled, quickly handed over the magnifying glass to the server. The server examined the magnifying glass for a moment and then quickly took it with her and disappeared back into the kitchen.

“What the hell is going on?” Theodora asked, terrified.

“I don’t know, should we just leave?” Misha added, shook.

“I hope we’re not in trouble, I have a bad feeling that we’re in trouble,” Theodora continued.

The server reappeared again.

“The chef would like to say hello,” said the server.

“Um… okay?” Misha and Theodora looked at each other, uncertain.

The server held out her hand and onto the table hopped an Ant wearing a chef’s hat and whites.

“There is no garlic shortage, there never has been. But it is my lifelong goal to disarm the public of weapons of mass destruction.” The Ant began, “As such, in exchange for 30% off your meal, I will be keeping your magnifying glass.”

Misha and Theodora were thoroughly weirded out and did not know what to say.

“I would recommend the bolognese tonight as well as the Alfredo. They both came out beautifully today and are some of my best work.” The Ant continued.

“Okay, I’ll take bolgenese,” Misha said.

“And I’ll do the Alfredo,” Theodora added.

“Excellent choices, your meals will be right out.”

With that, the chef disappeared into the kitchen. Misha and Theodora were too stunned to say anything. Their meals came out, they were delicious, the two ate and left.

Outside Theodora finally had a comment to sum up the whole bizarre situation they found themselves in tonight.

“So if we bring a magnifying glass in, every time…” she started, “We’ll get 30% off our meal?”

“I think that’s all I got out of this,” Misha replied.