Jane Gets A Package
Never had the Chipmunk been more excited. She had a package arriving today, a very *very* important package.
The package tracker said the package was out for delivery and would be arriving before 8:00 pm that night. The Chipmunk got dressed and went to work. She sat in meetings and ordered lunch and surfed the Internet. Anything to pass the time till her package came.
It was surprising that Jane, the Chipmunk, still got excited about packages. She had been receiving packages for a long time but still, the day a package was delivered was always so exciting. It doesn’t even matter what is in the package necessarily, just receiving a package was fun.
“Oh, it’s probably because opening a package feels like opening a present!” Jane said, out loud, inadvertently, in the middle of the meeting.
“What was that, Jane?” Replied Antonio, a Cardinal and the CEO, who just happened to be in town for this particular meeting.
Jane was so embarrassed. For a moment she was certain that she was dreaming. One of those dreams where you don’t have your homework for class, or you’re out in public without a mask. No, this was real. Like when you’re in elementary school and accidentally call your teacher 'mom' in front of the whole class and everyone would laugh.
But today, in the conference room, no one laughed. Everyone just looked over at Jane. They couldn’t believe what had happened.
“Sorry Jane, do you mind repeating what you just said?” The CEO asked again, assuming Jane had said something very important that she would like to add to their discussion.
“I... I said...” What was Jane to do now? How was Jane going to save face in front of her boss and all her colleagues? Would they think she was crazy for having this thought?
“I... Ooh, look at that!” Jane saw her phone light up with an alert. “My package has been delivered!”
“Was that it, Jane?” The CEO asked.
“Um, yeah... I guess. Sorry for the interruption I just got a little excited.”
“Okay, well, that’s great to hear. Anyway...” The CEO continued with the meeting.
Jane had dodged a bullet. She couldn’t wait to get home, get to her package, and rip it open like a kid on Christmas morning.
“Ugh, this day and this meeting are taking so long,” Jane thought to herself. “Maybe I could — “
“Jane is there somewhere you’d rather be?” The CEO asked.
Jane of course knew the truthful answer. And it seems like everyone else in the room knew her truthful answer as well. But obviously, you cannot be truthful with authority. Jane knew that too. Right, Jane? You know that, right? You know that you can’t —
“Of course I’d rather be someplace else!” Jane answered. Shocking everyone. “I just had a package delivered!”
Surely she isn’t about to —
“I quit!” Jane yelled, storming off.
It was then our corporate transmissions on the subject of Jane were severed. Compliant with U.S. law, companies may no longer monitor employees' thoughts once employment had been severed. The last we know of Jane she was exiting the building, smiling as she yelled, “I can’t wait to try my new hand cream!”
A new opening was created for Jane’s old job and posted to job sites. Quality candidates were sent to us within the first day. There has been no word from Jane about the quality of the hand cream. The wheels of industry continue to turn.
