An Elk Plays A Prank
“This ain’t it.”
The Fox finished eating his second bowl of cereal, disappointed.
“Damn, I really thought this was going to be the one.”
The Fox put down his cereal bowl and rose from the table. He walked over to the counter, grabbed the cereal box from where his last bowl of cereal came from, and tossed it in a box marked:
not my favorite cereal
The Fox reached up and grabbed another box of cereal from the cabinet, opened it, poured the cereal into a bowl, poured the milk into the cereal, and took a bite.
He chewed contemplatively.
Swallowed. Sighed.
“No.”
The Fox grabbed the cereal box and tossed it into the not my favorite cereal box as well before heading to the couch to finish up his newest bowl of cereal.
His roommate, an Elk named Elvin, made his way into the kitchen. He looked over at the Fox sitting on the couch, watching Sports Center, angrily eating a bowl of cereal. The Elk shook his head.
“Morning Larry!” Elvin said to the Fox.
“What’s so good about it?” Larry, the Fox, replied.
“Never said it was good, just said it was morning Larry.”
Elvin reached into the not my favorite cereal box and pulled out one of Larry’s partially used boxes of cereal. He went to the fridge, grabbed some milk, poured the milk into the bowl, then poured a rejected cereal into the milk. Elvin made his way over to the couch and sat down next to Larry.
“Still haven’t found it yet, huh?” Elvin asked, between bites.
“No! This is getting ridiculous! How come everyone in the world remembers their favorite cereal except for me?” The Fox cried. “How could such a fundamental thing escape my mind.”
“I’m telling you,” Elvin offered, “It’s all about technique, try it my way and I bet the next cereal you try will be your favorite cereal.”
“I really don’t see how — “
“Just... try it.” Elvin insisted.
“Fine.”
Larry finished his current bowl of not his favorite cereal and made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed another box of cereal from the cabinet. The cabinet was so filled with different types of cereal you would think Larry was an old army buddy of General Mills. Larry then went to the fridge and got the milk. He took a deep breath.
“You’re sure about this?” Larry asked, one last time, before pulling the trigger.
Elvin turned to see what was sure to be a historic moment:
“Never more sure of anything else in my life.”
Larry nodded at Elvin then turned back to his bowl, his milk, and his cereal. Larry grabbed the milk and poured it into the bowl first. It felt so weird. So unnatural. But he didn’t know what else to do. He wanted to figure out what his favorite cereal was so badly. He then poured the new cereal into the milk and watched as it oddly floated on top of the milk, dryly taunting him. Very weird.
Larry took the bizarre scene in for a moment. He dug his spoon into the cereal. Elvin looked on in eager anticipation. Larry began to chew.
He kept chewing.
He started chewing slower and slower.
He stopped. Looked at Elvin:
“Is this some kind of joke to you?”
Elvin started cracking up as Larry continued:
"This is just the same cereal but I made it like an idiot."
Elvin was now laughing so hard he almost spilled his own cereal and fell off the couch.
“What part of me not having a favorite cereal, then buying every cereal in the grocery store, including regular and low sugar and reduced-fat versions of the same type of cereal, what part of that is a joke to you?” Larry yelled.
Elvin had tears streaming down his face.
“I’m going to find my favorite cereal. You wait. Then we’ll see who's laughing.” Larry said as he sat back down on the couch. “I know I have a favorite cereal and once I find it I’ll be able to answer the security question on my online banking, recover my password, access my money. Then MOVE!”
Elvin had been planning this prank for weeks. He executed it perfectly. He went back to the kitchen and grabbed one of his favorite cereals, Cap'n Crunch Berries, from the not my favorite cereal box. Lucky day for Elvin, as he sat down to watch the rest of Sports Center.
