The Water Bottle Gambit

The Raccoon had heard her friend Doug, an Owl, was looking for an investment in a business idea. Doug had a sharp eye for business ideas and the Raccoon had some money she was willing to play around with. It had always been the Raccoon’s motto that it’s important to help people with what we can while we’re around.

So Sally, the Raccoon, made her way over to her friend’s house to discuss his new business idea and see if there was anything she could do to help.

“Hi, Sally!” Doug the Owl said as he greeted her at the door, “Come on in, can I offer you something to drink? Coffee? Soda? Bottle of water?”

“No thank you I’m… Wait, did you just say bottle of water?” Sally replied, somewhat confused.

You see, bottles of water were typically reserved for very high-profile meetings. Meetings with people who wear nice shoes and keep a ‘calendar.’ Sally had assumed regardless of whether she would be investing in Doug’s business or not this was going to be a friendly visit.

“Sure, a bottle of water for my big potential investor,” Doug confirmed, “Don’t want to start off on the wrong foot.”

“Well, I guess I’ll take that bottle of water then.” Sally decided, somewhat hesitantly.

Sally was not a real investor in businesses. She was an investor in people. She didn’t care what was being sold as long as she liked who was selling it. That way, her investments were less investments and more friendly grants, that she didn’t really worry about getting paid back on. The formality of this meeting with her good friend Doug was throwing her off.

“So let me tell you the idea,” Doug started, as he returned with the bottle of water.

Doug began to speak about his big plans but Sally could not stop focusing on the water. She wondered, would it be rude to open the bottle and take a swig in the middle of Doug’s pitch? Would he be offended if she did that? Would he be offended if she didn’t do that? Hmm, what a conundrum

“So, what do you think?” Doug said, concluding his pitch.

Oh, dear.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

With the distraction of the water bottle, Sally had not heard a single word of Doug’s business idea. What a mess. What an absolute mess. Sally didn’t know what to say and Doug was looking at her with such hope and enthusiasm.

This stupid water bottle ruined everything.

“Umm, well…” Sally started, “I guess…”

Sally opened the water bottle and took a long gulp.

“Wow, someone is thirsty! Glad I stocked up on water bottles for this meeting, would you like another?” Doug offered.

The last thing Sally wanted was another stupid water bottle. The water bottle is the cause of this whole mess in the first place. Sure is nothing like feeling so important then so silly all because of the same stupid water bottle.

“Someone should find a way to make water bottles less intimidating.” Sally blurted out. More as a placeholder than anything else.

Doug was thrown off. He hadn’t considered the water bottle to be intimidating, but now that he saw it through Sally’s eyes, he could see it as well. Sharp cap with threatening ridges, plastic that never decomposes. Yeah, yeah, Doug was beginning to see her point.

“You know what,” Doug said, “You make a really good point, I might shift to work on that problem instead.”

“Really?” Sally asked, concerned.

“Yeah, definitely. I think it’s a valid idea.” Doug replied.

Sally knew right then, Doug was not as great a business person as she had thought. The water bottle saved her. If he was willing to jump on an idea so silly and clearly blurted out, he would also be willing to say anything to get people to invest with him.

Actually, maybe that made Doug a great business person…

Sally gave him the investment he was looking for, happy to have helped a friend.

Doug thanked her, then thanked himself, his water bottle gambit had worked again.